It never gets easier, only better

It's a special day for us today as Little Dude turns 18 months old. I have been thinking a lot about how things change as your baby grows older. You know, there was always this 'magic age' in my mind. An age when things would go back to normal for me. When all the difficulties of early parenthood would just go away, and there would be only laughter and play. Now, to be frank, this conception has been created in my mind by none other than other parents. When Little Dude was born, everyone told me, "Oh, the first six months are very tough. Hang in there!" I celebrated his six-month birthday, though then I became constantly preoccupied with what to feed him as he started solids. Things got a little tough as he stopped sleeping smoothly and I was pulling my hair out. That's when experienced parents shared (some offline, some online) that once he crosses his first birthday, things will definitely improve. Well, after the 12 month mark, things did slightly improve. I mean, I was able to re-ignite my writing passion with this blog. But then, his separation anxiety reached its peak and that meant there was very little I could actually do for myself. That's when I finally put up this question on Quora: 'How long did it take for your life to return to 'normal' after having a child?' I got some wonderful answers there, and people were very honest this time (that's why I love Quora!). The most voted answer actually is 'Never!'. But here are some nice things people said:
"I love my new normal of weekends at the swimming pool, the park, the woods or children's parties. Getting up at 6am instead of 10am means I get a lot more done with my day!" (Tree Hall)
"Its more fun with them and gives a different purpose to your life. I feel that should be the right normal." (Nayan Jain)
"It also gets easier when they get older...more autonomy, esp. being able to make their own meals - means that you can do things around the house by yourself....reading, napping, watching sports, etc. But, like I said, it will never go  back to what it was before....but that's alright. Kids rock." (Drew Spevak)
That's when it dawned on me that what I'm waiting for is something elusive, something that exists only in my mind. Heck, this IS my my new normal life! It's tough, that's true. To be honest, this has been the most challenging 18 month period of my life. But it has also been the most blissful and amazing time of my life. Nobody can understand what a parent feels like until they become one. And so, I am at peace with myself.

And I totally agree, things will never be what they were like earlier, because they are better now! It's so much more fun to play with my son at the beach than to go for a movie. I won't say that I don't want to. I want to do many things that I don't really have time for now - like reading, going to the salon, watching movies and my favourite shows. However, I realize that my son's childhood experiences are more important than anything else in this world. I want him to look back on these years, and think that they rocked!

As for the 'me time' that I crave, that is happening more often than before. We can got out more often (unlike what used to happen before). Little Dude is learning new skills everyday and becoming more independent. It's fun watching him do all this and I would never trade this for my old life. Cheers to more years of learning and fun for us and our child!

P.S: I still get told that things will get "much better" once he's two or five years old, but I'm not that concerned anymore! 

(Pic: Tarana Khan)
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Richa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richa said...

Congrats Tarana!

My little one turns 15 months tomorrow! And I already feel he is growing up too soon.... :(

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you! Yes, but don't worry, because you'll have more fun as he grows up.

Vinma said...

Yeah, the definition of 'normal' keeps on getting redefined in your journey with kids :) The 'normal' of your being single years is not your 'normal' in parenthood. Very insightful post! Love your thoughts :)

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you! Still learning so much...

Swapna said...

Like a quote I love says "the first 40 years of motherhood are the hardest", it never gets easier. :p but it sure gets better. What looked like a challenge a few months ago becomes your right hand's play and at the same you start facing another difficulty but yeah you have to accept that as normalcy. Best of luck Tarana!

Tarana Khan said...

That quote just says it all! Thanks for stopping and hope to see you again :)

Indu said...

I agree with you Tarana....I have kinda accepted the fact that life will never be same but this is such a beautiful chapter of our life that's why we want to tresure all these memories so that we can look back at them smile, laught and cry.

Unknown said...

Just wanted to say thanks so much for all the follow backs from the Blog Hop on Bloggy Moms! I really appreciate it! Your facebook icon isn't working for me so I couldn't like your page :o( Feel free to send me the link in an email though and I will be happy to return the favor!

Unknown said...

I love this post! You are so right! This IS the new normal! Enjoy it!
Justin Knight- Writing Pad Dad
Writing Pad Dad Blog

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you, Justin, and thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous said...

I long ago came to the conclusion that normal doesnt exist! Enjoy the now and cherish every moment. Each day thereafter just gets better and better :)

Unknown said...

I love this post. J is now nearly eight (no idea where all the years have gone). TBH each age has had its challenges. And I'd agree, I haven't got back to "normal" yet! I thought it would be "easier" when he started nursery school, but boy did I miss the afternoon naps....and having to get him to bed early (in his baby years, we'd adopted my owl-like routine). Every age, I think, has its special challenges and delights!

Tarana Khan said...

That's true, I'm just taking everything in as it comes along! Thanks for stopping by...

Jaime Oliver said...

Happy First 18 Months little Dude!! it flies doesnt it! i dont remember what 'normal' is anymore lol

Thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments

Betseyloves studley & cherub pie said...

Saw ur link on #magicmoments linky** really love this post. Im mama to an almost 3:year old, each month they grow comes with a new challenge as such but wow also which such growth comes such amazement in the personality and adventure they develop. U even start to wish the baby days of them napping on ur chest and changing nappies again as they start to pull away secure in their freedom. Its all to be cherished, even the tantrums and crossfaces!! Xx

Tarana Khan said...

Ah yes, there's so much to look forward to!

Anonymous said...

I've just popped in through your 'about' page post and this really resonated! Read my post 'Things *will* get easier' on the same subject! X

Tell me what you think about this post!


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