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The 'social life' myth debunked

How many times have you bemoaned the lack of a 'social life' since you became a parent? I am guessing every other day! If you don't say it, you think it and sigh. I used to as well, but now I think it's unfair. And I'll tell you why. Isn't it hard enough that we have to deal with constant guilt about being the perfect parent that society expects us to be? Then, why in the world is having a social life defined by non-parents so important?

Let's analyze this a bit. When we say 'social life' we are using it in the context of young, trendy people who have more shoes than responsibilities. The ones who spend their entire weekend partying on a yacht or a glitzy club. The one's who spend long weekends in a spa resort. Remember, only those with sufficient free time and money can indulge in this social life. So, I guess that's about 5-10% of the population. And that's exactly why I think it's unfair that we should be expected to follow this myth of a social life that 'everyone else is having'.

In your face, party-goers!
Pic: Peter Griffin/PublicDomainPictures.net
The Macmillan Dictionary defines the term as the time that you spend enjoying yourself with friends (yes, I actually checked). Nowhere does it say that you should be partying until the wee hours of the morning and getting drunk. It's perfectly acceptable to meet your mommy or daddy friends for a playdate or a birthday party. You are socializing there and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

This whole lie has been allowed to run it's course for too long, and I hope you will join in me in saying 'NO' to the social life myth! 

This post has been linked to the Humor Me! Blog Hop.
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21 comments

Tas D said...

I think even if I wanted to I probably couldn't party past midnight anymore. My idea if a social life usually involves the sofa and the laptop most evenings :) and if I really push the boat out then it means a nice meal out with friends (but nothing too noisy. ;))

Tarana Khan said...

Well then, you rock! Thanks for stopping by.

Rachel said...

I actually think it might be a little easier (for my husband and I) to make friends once we have kids. A lot of times I see that the kids start playing together first--in church or nursery or school, and then the parents meet. A lot of young married couples do have children, but we don't, so at the moment we feel a little bit like outsiders in our new home!

Michelle Liew said...

I agree with Rachel. THe kids give more excuses for making friends. Found you from the Humor Me Hop http://petsawarenews.com/?p=388

Tarana Khan said...

I agree, kids are a good ice breaker! You feel easier about approaching other parents when your kids are around the same age.

northernmum said...

The sad thing is, I can't even stay up late anymore, but I can sleep standing up!

Tarana Khan said...

You should add that to my 'mom superpowers' list here: http://www.sandinmytoes.tk/2013/05/the-guide-to-mom-superpowers.html

Terrye said...

I don't miss those long hours of non-stop inhaling of insanely expensive alcoholic beverages, brain pounding music, fake friends, and gross guys hitting on me. Give me the hubby, the kid, a lake, the boat, and a few other friends with families and my 'social life' is full! :D Great post! And thank you for joining us again at the Humor Me! Blog Hop! :D

Tarana Khan said...

To be honest, I didn't have that kind of social life earlier anyway. And I didn't write this post in jest, I swear!

thesadderbutwisergirl.com said...

I stay up until midnight most nights. But I can't say that I'm partying while doing that. I'm usually waiting for my kid to fall asleep! :-D Thanks for hooking up with us here at the Humor Me Blog Hop!

Tarana Khan said...

I do the same thing! Thanks for stopping by.

The Loving Parent said...

Great post! Although I have to admit to enjoying both 'types' of social life. I LOVE time with other parents and their children and all the things I get to experience, thanks to the children. But I also LOVE going out into London, meeting new people, having a drink (or 3) and dancing till my feet hurt!! One of the advantages of being separated from my kids' dad, is that I get every other weekend 'off' to spend how I choose. And sometimes I spend it doing that 'other' type of social thing. So basically, I love all types of 'social' life. It's all about the people. Bring it on!! :) xx

Tarana Khan said...

It's great that you have the stamina for both types, I just don't yet! Thanks for stopping by.

Emma Oliver said...

We just went to a local house warming - the entire community was there. I've got the best social life now that I have kids. It's fulfilling in different ways. That said, important to go hang out with the friends of mine that are still single to retain a part of you that should never be allowed to fade!

Tarana Khan said...

I agree, one must definitely not give up the 'past life' either! Thanks for stopping by.

GJT said...

Now that I'm older and more set in my ways with the kids (I've usually slipped in to my pajamas around 8pm!), the idea of getting dressed up and going to a loud club makes me sweaty and gives me a headache. Plus, I don't recover from late nights like I used to. But I completely agree, "social life" needs to be redefined for most of us. Great post!

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you, and I'm just like you!

Xandi | The Mummy Scripts said...

ha! So true... Gone are the days of staying up till 2am in a club and spending all Sunday exhausted and hungover - good riddance I say! I much prefer my social life now - when I do get the time to see friends and family it is so much more special and memorable. x

Tarana Khan said...

Me too, I'm liking my social life now more than I did before!

CARA GREENFIELD said...

Your words are such truth!! I love my social life of play dates and juggling having coffee and cooing over a new baby friend for my stud* picnic in the park, seaside trips with good friends. I feel very lucky to have such brilliant fun socialising at times that suit my child. Xx

Tarana Khan said...

Nothing can compare with having fun with your kids, right?

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