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The story of my trip to mom-jail!

It's bad enough to be accursed with constant guilt as a parent, but if there's one thing that usually makes me uneasy, it's using my phone around Little Dude. It was a bit of a shock then, when recently, he asked me to put "away" my phone! You can imagine my state of mind. My guilt went into overdrive, snowballing into all kind of thoughts like what a bad mother I am for checking my phone when I should be paying attention to my son! He did it again a couple of times, and once, even took it away from my hands. That was it. I just put it away after that, because clearly, he was on to me! He knew that I was sneaking in a tweet or two while I should have been playing with him. He hated my phone and that was my wake-up call. I should be marched straight into mom-jail!

Take it away!
(Pic: bplanet/FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Here's where I go into defense mode - I'm not the most happening thing on social media. I don't even notch up ten tweets a day, a number which many tweeters would post in a hour! Using the laptop is an absolute no-no for me when he's awake. So, my phone is the only thing that let's me take a peek into what's happening in the world out there. It helps me keep in touch with fellow bloggers and awesome reading material. Even then, I try to use it when Little Dude is busy playing or happily occupied with something. Thankfully, my redemption came soon...

You see, he didn't have anything against my phone in particular. He wanted me to put "away" anything I was holding - whether it was a glass, the newspaper or even a paper napkin - when he wanted my complete attention. With that, a weight was lifted off me!

In the end, we try to be the best parents we can be. If we could, we would spend every waking moment with our children. But there is a part of us that remains separated from our identity as parents. A remnant of the past,  if you will - that makes us want to reach out to conversations beyond diapers and teething. I'm sure our children understand that, and with time learn to respect and value us as individuals. We can't let guilt consume us for being ourselves, when we mean every bit of happiness for our little ones. Sometimes, mama's just got to tweet!

This post has been linked to the Magic Moments blog hop.

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24 comments

GJT said...

I, too, have been guilty of this. But there does come a point where our kids have to learn to play independent of us for a few minutes as well. That's my justification anyway. And the time that I do spend with them is quality, present and focused time. We can't be glued to them every second of the day, that's just crazy talk!

Tarana Khan said...

I agree completely. If we don't take some time off, we'll explode!

Erica Price said...

I think we all do this a bit. If it wasn't a phone it might be something else: a book, talking to a friend. Whenever they feel we aren't paying attention to them. I think somehow it feels worse when it's a phone, but not sure why that should be.

The Pioneer Mom said...

I'm getting better at this also. My kids behavior to redirect my attention was the wake up call. I'm sure they'll ave an app for parents to play with our kids via the App Store very soon. Lol, but not really. Xoxo

pinkoddy said...

You know I think sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves, and for our children's happiness then looking after ourselves is important too.

Jaime Oliver said...

its hard isnt it trying to maintain everything!Joshua takes my phone from me anyway!

Thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments xx

Sadie said...

Now I can so relate to this, but my children are growing and playing with each other and for me its a form of escapism into the adult world.

Tarana Khan said...

Yes, there is something about the phone that makes me doubly feel guilty!

Tarana Khan said...

That's a great idea!

Tarana Khan said...

Yes, I know, it's like we're programmed to feel guilty!

Tarana Khan said...

So my little guy isn't the only one!

Tarana Khan said...

Glad you agree!

Lollzz said...

I've felt the same - I think I look at my phone too much when the kids are there and have previously had the "no laptop" rule during waking times too but they need me less now - they are entertained by themselves, I would spoil their play at times if I joined in. I think you just need to strike a balance - and in all honesty sometimes it's the closest thing we get to adult conversation all day!
#magicmoments

AtoZ Mummy said...

Awww bless, how sweet! I have actually been told to put my phone down by my 4 year old.. a horrible moment! It's really dificult striking the balance but I never the put the tv on and generally give the kids my attention so I need a bit of me time at regular intervals throughout the day ;)

Tarana Khan said...

Yes, once he grows older, I may be able to get more done on my laptop at least!

Tarana Khan said...

We all do, right? Everyone need a break sometimes!

Cathie B said...

Lucas has said this to me before and you do feel guilty but I agree that sometimes, that couple of seconds can make Mummy a bit saner............ great post popping over from #MagicMoments

Tarana Khan said...

Exactly, that's all it takes!

Actually Mummy... said...

Oooh I find it difficult to stay away from my phone, but I really try to make the effort, time is passing so quickly with the kids!

Suzanne Whitton said...

Don't ever feel guilty for attempting to find a little respite in your toddler-filled day, it can be really draining at times. However, do think that we probably all need to be mindful of giving our child undivided attention some of the time. But not ALL the time or they start ruling us!

Tas D said...

I think I'm addicted to my phone sometimes. Z told or to "put it down put it down" the other day.i then concentrated on our jigsaw. Oops!

Tarana Khan said...

It's tough, right? But yes, they grow up so fast, we can't ever look away!

Tarana Khan said...

I try to give undivided attention as much as I can. And I always end up feeling guilty about the phone, which is unwarranted at times.

Tarana Khan said...

Ooh, these guys are just so good at making us feel guilty!

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