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An unexpected joy...

When Little Dude was born, I considered myself lucky in many ways. I was blessed with an angel. I felt fulfilled. And best of all, I could choose whether to stay at home with him or go back to work. I know that every mother doesn't have that choice. Most women are compelled to return to work, leaving their infants behind, because of financial needs and maternity laws that need to be more accommodating. Many of them are single parents. 

That's why I think I was lucky. I can't say I actively made the decision to become a stay-at-home mom, but it seemed to happen by itself, as time went by. I was as ambitious as any other working woman, but nothing prepared me for the change that motherhood brought. It was almost spiritual, in a way. Having achieved a fair level of success at work, I didn't feel that I needed to prove myself professionally. My vision became limited to my child, and giving him every bit of love and happiness that I could. 

An unexpected joy in being a stay-at-home mom

It was a little unexpected, feeling this way. Even when I was pregnant, I had thoughts of returning to work when Little Dude would be one. Hah! It didn't take me even one week to realise  that I wasn't going back any time soon. Becoming a stay-at-home mom became the best decision I ever made. Since then, I have come to respect people like my mother, who gave all her time to us (and still does) to us. It's not easy being at home and having to be on your toes every minute. But I also have only admiration for working mothers, who somehow, manage to raise children while building a career. It's not easy either way, but I can only write of my experience.

I treasure each day I have spent with my son these past two and a half years. This is true even of the most trying days, because at least I was the one comforting him when he wasn't in the best of moods. Sleep deprived I still am, but I know that I don't have to rush to work in the morning, and that sort of makes it bearable. I remember every little thing about him growing up, and how he came to acquire his habits and mannerisms. I know him inside out, even though he is still so little. I had a rewarding career before I became a mother, but now I have a goal, a passion to be the best parent I can be. To be the arms he can always run into whenever he needs me. 

I know that every mother cannot be expected to feel this way - to feel fulfilled only by parental duties. They probably have skills and talents that remain unused, and I can imagine how that feels. Luckily for me, my job was mainly about writing (I was a reporter), so I have found an outlet for my other passion in blogging.

Now that Little Dude is at an age where we can do activities together, I am happy to be there for him. I know that there will come a time when he won't want my company anymore, but at least I'll know that I did the best I could when did need me the most.

This post has been written for Finish The Sentence Friday

It's also been linked to Post Comment Love.

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41 comments

Redpeffer said...

Lovely and I too really enjoy being at home and being there for my children-the most fulfilling thing I've ever done :)

Ciara ourlittlehouseinthecountry said...

A really lovely post. I love being a SAHM. It has been the best decision I have ever made. I f you had asked me 5 years ago if I would have considered being a SAHM, I would have told you to stop being so ridiculous. It's amzing how our perspective can change when these little people become the centre of our lives. Thank you for sharing. #PoCoLo

Jenn said...

Beautiful post. I am grateful that I was able to stay home for so many years with my kids. #PoCoLo

Balroop Singh said...

Lovely thoughts...Tarana!! I like your decision of staying home and enjoying the most precious moments of life. You can work all your life but this time...of eternal bliss... that you give to your child will be the BEST, which can never be recovered but in memories! So make the best of these beautiful days that you will treasure when he grows up.

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you, and I'm glad to hear that you feel the same way!

Shakespeare's Mom said...

You're an amazing mom. I may not actually know you in person, but your passion for motherhood comes through in everything you write, especially this post. Your son is a lucky little guy, and isn't it a great feeling to know that you've made a good decision? I certainly don't always love some aspects of my life as a SAHM, but I know beyond a doubt that I made the best decision for me.

maryanne @ mama smiles said...

I love staying home with my kids. There are other jobs I could be doing, but - for me - none of them would be anywhere near as rewarding. Blogging is my outlet, also, and I am so glad to have the opportunity to stay home with my kids - and to enjoy these years!

Bianca @ Rant Rave Crave said...

Hi from Bloppys!
I feel the same way. While I was pregnant, I swore I would return to work. Yep, that didn't happen. I do enjoy staying home w/ my little dude. Never thought I would.

Louisa said...

Such a beautiful post. I am so lucky to be able to be at home with my children. It's not for everyone but it sounds like the perfect choice for you. #pocolo

Kristi Campbell said...

When I was pregnant, I actually put a deposit down on a daycare for when my son was three months old. I quit my job while on maternity leave and it's one of my best decisions too! Beautiful post, friend. I love it.

Lizzy Allan said...

Lovely post, Tarana. I feel exactly the same as you do, although I didn't really achieve anything much before becoming a parent. I did have a career as a teacher for a few years and although I loved the job, I have no desire to return anytime soon! being a stay-at-home mum is challenging and exhausting, but I wouldn't swap it for anything :) It's great that you can blog as a creative, social and intellectual outlet. We're very lucky in some ways to live in the era we live in, I think.

Brielle and Me: Our Journey said...

What a heart warming story! I almost wrote my post about being a SAHM. I loved my career and despite what I thought I wanted/expected, I was a less than "fun" mom. But, when our second daughter was born and we knew she had special needs PLUS we moved to a different state when she was 6 months old, it seemed natural. I struggled...for a long itme. But, then I found my groove and can't imagine a different life as a career mom. She's 18yo old with moderate cerebral palsy and my total purpose and joy. Thanks for sharing! (Visiting from FTSF!)

Tarana Khan said...

It was inconceivable for me too, even up to three years ago! We really do change so much after becoming parents.

Tarana Khan said...

It's definitely something I'm grateful for too :)

Tarana Khan said...

That's the best part of it, Balroop - not missing a single moment!

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you for your lovely, Mom! Maybe it's because he's still two ;) But yes, if it weren't for being a mother, I wouldn't have so much to write about.

Tarana Khan said...

Blogging has become so important for me too, because it helps me reach out to so many many amazing people who have interesting stories to share!

Tarana Khan said...

Neither did I, and I'm glad I did too :)

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you, Louisa! Yes, it doesn't work for everyone, and each one of us should choose what works best.

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you, and it looks like you did the right thing if it made you so happy.

Tarana Khan said...

Yes, we are lucky, aren't we? To be able to connect like this? I think I would have gone mad if I wasn't writing!

Tarana Khan said...

I do love your blog, Kerith, and thanks for sharing your story with me!

Jess Paterson said...

This is such a heartwarming post! As you can probably tell from my blog, I'm a bit more conflicted about being at home but I am very lucky to be able to. X

Jennifer Steck said...

I never had the opportunity to stay at home with my son. We did the best we could. I'm thrilled that you could choose and that you have so much time to spend with one of the most important people in your life!

Nikki Frank-Hamilton said...

I stayed home with my son for his first year, and I worked nights and hubby days for our daughter. One of us was always home with the kids. But missing milestones, even if hubby saw them, was sad to me. Now my kids are mostly grown, and when I look back I am sad for the things that I missed. They grow so fast! Good for you!

pixiedusk said...

I am of course happy to be with my son as a stay-at-home-mom but inside me I still crave to go back to work. Not because I am not happy with my son of course. I just feel like I will be a better person. This is a really nice post. Eitherways, working or staying at home it is challenging to be a mother =) #pocolo

Kelly Mckenzie said...

You're right - treasure your time together. It flies by so very quickly. I was fortunate to be able to work from home when my two were in school. It was wonderful to be able to do the field trips, school lunches, concerts etc. I feel so very blessed. Not only did I know my children inside and out I got to know their teachers and their pals. Wouldn't change a thing.

Katie @ Pick Any Two said...

I enjoyed reading this post! I am very fortunate in that I work for myself part-time and then have two days/week where I'm just with my son. It's kind of like the best of both worlds, and I'm loving every minute of it!

Tarana Khan said...

Thank you, Jess! I completely understand the need that some moms feel to go out there and do their own thing.

Tarana Khan said...

You couldn't stay at home, but you did so much good for society. That's just amazing!

Tarana Khan said...

I'm sure you made the right decision given your circumstances. We all do the best we can!

Tarana Khan said...

Yes, it is challenging, and each of us is different. Maybe you should do something that makes you feel more fulfilled.

Tarana Khan said...

It's so wonderful that you could work from home! That really is getting the best of both worlds.

Tarana Khan said...

That's lovely! So far, I'm just happy with my blog, even though I'm not making anything from it!

Untouchable said...

I was one of those moms who wanted a career just for the break from home, but nobody was really interested in hiring me because of the pregnancy or the newborn. I was pregnant 3 kids back to back, so now that they are at the age where I could probably go back to work (my youngest will start Pre-K next year), nobody will want to hire me because I haven't worked since 2005 (well that and now I'm totally bonkers). I too have joined the blogging community to give me an outlet for my passions. I'm glad we have this. I don't know what moms before us did. Thanks for this post. It reminds me that it's worth it to stay home. And by worth it, I mean worth the insanity. I don't get much time away from the kids, and that's just trying on any mom I don't care who you are, it's mentally exhausting.

Frantic Mama said...

I know what you mean in this post. Even on my most trying days, I am so grateful I don't have to drop my children off at daycare, or have someone else fill me in on their day. I am glad I found a way to satisfy my passion for writing through blogging, though. Blogging and writing is such an awesome way to find an outlet during rare moments of quiet as a SAHM!

Izzie Anderton said...

So happy to hear that you love being a stay at home mum!

Tarana Khan said...

With three kids, I can imagine your insanity! What you described is the sad reality of moms wantingto rejoin the workforce, which is why I'm guessing, they don't quit in the first place. It is definitely exhausting, but I hope you take out some time for yourself too.

Tarana Khan said...

That's exactly how I feel! If it weren't for writing, I'd go mad.

Victoria Welton said...

This post really resonates with me. The reason being is that I became a SAHM unexpectedly. Because I split with Grace's father when she was only 3 months old, and all the issues this held! I was originally going back to work but I was so lucky to not have to! Its great to hear that you are enjoying time with your son. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo :) x

Tarana Khan said...

Yes, Victoria, it does feel special to be able to spend so much time with my son.

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