Ten things your 5-year old wants to tell you

My darling son turned five this year. I looked forward to celebrating his birthday with as much aplomb as we did his first. In my mind, turning five is a milestone of sorts. It's the growing up that we often speak about in bittersweet tones. It's when your baby is actually no longer your baby.

This stage also marks a major development in our lives - starting school. Now, your child starts going to proper school instead of a play group or play school, give or take a year depending on where you live in. With this, come a multitude of challenges and surprises.

As a parent, it's wonderful to see your child become more independent than you've ever seen them. It's also when you will see facets of a personality emerge, indicating just what kind of adult he or she may grow up to be. But it also gives you the additional responsibility of ensuring that the personality is a desirable one, or whether a directional nudging is in order.

Some things your five-year old child would probably tell you if they could communicate more clearly.

If your five -year old could communicate his or her thoughts more clearly, here are ten things they would probably want to tell you:


1. "I'm not a baby, but I still need attention."

Whether your child has a sibling or not, they will now start demanding a lot of attention. It's almost as if they want validation for everything they do. They want encouragement for their efforts, sympathy for their troubles, and care for their pain.

2. "I'm beginning to focus more on friends."

While friends were only playmates until now. peers take on more friend-oriented roles from here. Some best friends will also be chosen. Whether you like it or not, peer pressure will begin to make its presence felt. Your son or daughter will often quote their friends during conversations.

3. "I want to be taken seriously."

When he speaks, your son will want your undivided attention. Your daughter will demand that you drop everything else and reply to her. They will share more ideas on how they would like their world to be. They will think aloud endlessly, and ask you to be a persistent listener. They will take offense if you laugh off anything they say. Take this time to show that you take them seriously, and consider their thoughts.

4. "I still can't handle big emotions."

While they recognise their emotions, kids this age still don't have much control over them. They can't hide their sadness or disappointment. When they're happy, they show it in the most obvious way. They don't have much control over their temper either. This is where they need your help to slowly start regulating undesirable behaviours arising from volatile emotions.

5. "I know when you don't mean something."

Your white lies are more likely to be caught now. You say the candy shop is closed? They will logically figure out otherwise. More importantly, they can understand intonations in your voice to deduce whether you're serious or just playing.

6. "I care about my looks."

Self-esteem becomes important. Our society is steering towards narcissism with so much emphasis on taking one's pictures and sharing online. As a result, kids at younger ages are beginning to copy that behaviour and pay undue attention to how they look and what they wear. Your son will be very specific about what he wants to look like when he goes out. Your daughter, even more so.

7. "I would rather make mistakes than be controlled by you."

This is the time when you should allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. Your child will demand yet more autonomy and will refuse help as much as possible. Of course, they're still far from doing many things on their own. But they will still want to test their capabilities. This includes physical tasks, as well as social ones. In the playground, they will want less of your intervention with other kids.

8. "I may avoid hugs or kisses sometimes."

They still crave your love, but sometimes, they will refuse physical affection. Mostly when you're outside. Don't take this to mean that they don't want your hugs anymore.Indeed, touch is a powerful thing, But accept that your child may want space sometimes.

9. "I'm full of questions."

Children start asking an array of questions sometime after they turn three, but now the questions get more complicated. Why do you have to work? Do you love your mom? Do black holes really exist? I've been asked these questions and more! Be prepared and brush up on your facts. You may even need to talk birds and bees.

10. "I may seem like a different child to you."

Sometimes, you will see your five year-old and think, 'He's so different now'. As your child begins to mature, you will feel this way many times. But remember that you've known him or her from the beginning, and respect that gradual changes will happen and shape your child. There are many factors at play in influencing them such as friends and teachers, so be aware of those too.

The good thing about this age is that it's easier for you to communicate with your child, and help them understand your point of view too. They will be less likely to have tantrums, and are amenable to reason.

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